Divorced, Anointed, and Dearly Loved by God

I have realized from many years of being a faithful attendee that divorce is a very hidden and shunned topic in most evangelical churches. I was never so aware though until I was the one going through a divorce. Few want to talk about or face it but the fact is that the number of seriously practicing Christians that end up divorced is 38 percent.

Thirty-eight out of every one hundred Christian marriages are ending, leaving these people in the worst emotional pain imaginable and there is often little to no help available within the church family. I found that I received a not-too-subtle arms-length shunning. Perhaps people were uncomfortable around me and did not know what to say, maybe they thought they might catch the ‘spirit of divorce’ by association, or perchance they just thought I was in sin. I am sure every divorced person has found one of these to be true and can relate.

 My fellow Christians, these things ought not to be. What I needed, and I am sure everyone going through this crushing experience needs, is the love, comfort, and acceptance of their church family. Divorce is not the unpardonable sin and I am not sure why there is such a stigma associated with it. Perhaps we have a hard time facing up to the fact that there can be that scope of ‘failure’ within our midst that is impossible to hide. It’s time to ask ourselves, “What would Jesus do”?

When I read in scripture the teachings about divorce I look at it the way I see everything God teaches, because of His love for us. He does not want us to go through this because of the pain He knows it will cause His beloved. If we do go through it, however, It does not mean we are on our own. He will never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5).

God loves us so much that He will warn us in His word of the things He knows could hurt our lives. There are many such teachings such as gossip, lying, stirring up strife, and haughtiness (see Proverbs 6) that are destructive not only to ourselves but to others in the body of Christ. I am sometimes amazed that Christians will turn a blind eye to some of these ‘sins’ but will alienate some poor soul who goes through a divorce.

I love the way Jesus demonstrated His love for such people. In John 4 we find the story of the Samaritan woman who was divorced five times and currently living in sin. Jesus traveled far out of His way on purpose to minister to her and show her value. Because of her testimony to her village, the entire town got saved. God used a divorced woman to be a great evangelist. I always smile when I read this account because God has done the same for me. I have experienced many crippling obstacles in life, including divorce, and God still used me to minister for Him. I would even venture to say that I am a better minister for Jesus because of what I have gone through and overcome. Let that idea sink in for you.

If you have found yourself in this position, let me offer some encouragement you may not be getting. Perhaps you had to leave a soul-destroying relationship after doing everything you could to make it work for as long as possible. I applaud your bravery. God does not expect you to keep dying inside as long as you are alive. There is healing and restoration for you in His arms. Maybe you are the one who was deserted and the enemy is taunting you with words of unworthiness. The enemy will kick you when you are down and try to make you feel you have nothing to offer or that you are a failure. Nothing could be further from the truth. The devil is a liar. Failure is never final and God still has a plan for your life. He knew you would be divorced when He put His gifts in you and called you into His kingdom.

The enemy's job is to use anything he can to steal your identity, self-worth, and value. Divorce is his playground. I found that the biggest thing he tried with me was the spirit of rejection. He will try and convince you that you were never loved and you are flawed in some way. Perhaps he is trying to put guilt on you if you are the one who left. Whatever it is he is saying, know it is a lie because he is incapable of telling the truth. I literally had to shout at him to shut up and you may need to as well.

Another area I struggled with is bitterness and anger. This comes with a huge warning because all that it did was cause me to develop cancer. God warns us to put away these emotions.

Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. Ephesians 4:11

As I have mentioned before, these warnings are for our benefit, to keep us sound and healthy. I was bitter for so long that I developed a disease. It is just not worth it to play by the devil's rules or on his turf. God has healing and restoration in His amazing love. By spending time in the arms of Jesus we can learn to embrace His love for us and then love and forgive ourselves.

There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus ( Romans 8:1) and that includes divorce. You are just as saved, sanctified, righteous, and loved as you ever were. Hold your head high because you are in Christ. You are not second-class or flawed in any way.  Everything we are is because of what Jesus did, what He made us – and His work is always enough.